Me: You know, one of my least favorite parts of ending a relationship with someone is seeing something you know they'd think was hysterical, wanting to email them about it, but not being able to, because you know it's not "good for you." Ugh.
Friend: My least favorite part is NOT HAVING SEX ANYMORE.
Me: Shhhhh. I've been able to successfully block that part out through a series of techniques I call "denial," "repression" and "Macaroni & Cheese."
Friend: Why are men able to just jump back into bed with other women and we aren't?
Me: Please stop talking right now before you make me vomit.
Friend: Sorry.
Me: Especially tonight, of all nights!
Friend: What's the big deal about tonight?
Me: Tomorrow is Santacon. I have to be in top form. Have some respect, lady.
Dec 13th